Saturday, September 26, 2009

The life of man is the true romance, which when it is valiantly conducted, will yield the imagination a higher joy than any fiction.
- Emerson

Wow! Crazy summer! As many of you have already heard, Tim had sudden cardiac arrest at mile 48 of the PCT 50. He had to be Lifeflighted to Portland, where he was treated for his heart issue and the head injury he sustained when he fell. It was unbelievably awful and scary, but thankfully, he is perfectly fine now. They believe his heart stopped because he is calcium deficient following a botched parathyroid surgery a couple of years back, and he had not taken his calcium during the race. Add to that, 14 hours of running, heat, etc. and he had a recipe for disaster. Luckily, it happened at a point in the race where we happened to be with him, so we could start CPR immediately. Our friend, Luis Zaragoza, was with us, and he and I managed to revive Tim - but it was very, very scary! We are so thankful to all our friends that helped at the time, and continued to support us when we got home.

After the unfortunate incident, I really scaled back on my training. It was just beyond awful to watch my son screaming as his dad lay lifeless on the ground during a race. I'm still having a hard time getting my head around the risk I am taking every time I do a race. I know that life is full of risks, but some of the pure joy of running as been sucked out by the trauma. I know I will come to terms with it, and my family still wants me to race, but I am just running casually for the time being. Without the motivation, it is hard to push myself - and it has been wonderful to sleep in!

So, for now, my life is a little less hectic. I'm running with the group a few days a week - probably averaging about 80 - 90 miles a week, very easily. I'm running a couple of marathons for fun with my friends, going for coffee after the runs, and eating lots of cupcakes. As you see from my last post, I was already at a crossroads in my life before Portland, and now I am really trying to get some clarity. I know I want to keep racing, but I will probably just focus on the races I really like, rather than the ones I feel like I "should" do. Racing has only worked for me when it has been pursued by passion, not pressure. And on the road, I hope to rekindle that passion, not just for running, but for life.

Happy life!


kelly said...

Wow, Carilyn, I am so happy that your husband is okay. How scary for all of you. I had not heard about that incident. Take care of yourself and your family. That is what is important. We are not guaranteed tomorrow as you know and we must live each day to the fullest. Take this time to enjoy running and your friends. Thanks for the update. I had missed your posts. Take care.

Bob - said...

Oh My Carilyn, what a scary event...SO glad Tim is doing perfectly fine now and had you and your friends there to apply immediate help!! Really crazy!

Hope you continue to race but like you said more on your terms now...

See you soon at Javelina and look forward to giving you a big hug!