Saturday, October 10, 2009

In soloing - as in other activities - it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

Back to it - I'm lost without serious training. I love running, being outside, moving at my own pace under my own power. Sometimes fast, sometimes not. Tim had a serious heart to heart with me this week. He told me that I was going to regret giving up serious running if I gave it up for the wrong reasons - fear, guilt, peer pressure. He knows how much I love to run, how much I love to chase a goal. And I've been a little lost all year.

But the past few weeks, I've really been trying to decide what I wanted to do. Running 20 miles a day without a purpose is just work, grueling work. I told myself, there is no point in slogging out that kind of mileage if I wasn't going to continue to chase my dream. I need to either run for fun and fitness or get my courage back. Straddling both sides of the fence is no fun.

So, I've been putting in the miles, picking some races, readjusting goals, and reconnecting with my running friends. I've been doing some speed, some distance and some hills. And I've been happy. I've felt focused and energized. Even if I never race seriously again, even if I never win another race, it feels good to have not given up out of fear.

Thanks to everyone who sent such nice e-mails! It really meant a lot to me.

Happy running!

1 comment:

Bob - said...

Hey Carilyn, You are logging some awesome miles... You should toe the Javelina line and just go out on the trails and have fun. You also will see a lot of people because of the washing machine loops!

Anyways, I on the other hand have logged awful miles the past 5 weeks because of my weird behind the knee leg pain but will muddle way through for a long trek - lol can u tell I am excited about this gameplan (sigh))) hate injuries --grrrrr

see u soon!