Running and Learning

Wow, thanks for so many thoughtful responses to my race report post. It really is helpful to get the perspective of other runners and friends. That is why I love reading race reports because I learn a lot from them, even if it was something the runner wished he/she had done differently. We're all in this together!

I've had a pretty good week. I didn't end up needing much recovery, so I was able to do some sort of workout every day. That always helps my disposition :) I guess because of the wind, I wasn't able to really pound on my joints as much as in a normal race, so I didn't need to take much time off. I guess that's good and that's bad.

Okay, on to things I learned:

1) No matter how badly I would like to be a focused runner, it ain't gonna happen. That whole pace chart, watch focus, just about undid me. I feel bad that I can't get my mind around the structure of racing, but I've decided I'm like the kid that is in the complicated math class who really needs to be in the theater arts class. My brain just doesn't work with the clock. It causes me so much stress that I end up hating the running. When I run strictly by feel (with good results and bad), I am a much happier runner.

2) As Olga said, you have to have a bigger purpose in a race. Because I was going for pace, once that went out the window, I couldn't come up with a reason to keep going (other than pride). With my other races, I was running to run - the sheer challenge of it, the excitement of doing it, the mixing of energy with other people who also loved to run. That was absent from this race for me. I had left the running for the sake of running piece in El Paso and made the race a task to fulfill. Yuck.

3) I can crew for myself if I have to, but it's not nearly as much fun. I had no stomach, fluid, or electrolyte issues, so I know I managed my body well, but I missed having my family on the course. Seeing them here and there throughout a race really makes a difference in how much I enjoy it. They remind me that it is supposed to be fun - hard, but fun.

4) Winning isn't everything. I have felt better about races where I thought they might have to send a search party out to find me because I was so far behind. My attitude was so internally negative during this race that I was embarrassed to be keeping myself company. As they say, it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game. I played like John McEnroe (throwing tantrums and racquets) and I wish I had played like Arthur Ashe (with dignity and class). The only thing that gives me any comfort is that I directed it all inside and (hopefully) didn't show it.

5) There's always another race. This was one race. Why I got so wound up about it, I will never know. But there is another race around the corner, and then another, and another. The road (and the trail) is long. I've just got to keep running and enjoying it.

Happy running!